Processing

 Today is Day -2 of stem cell transplant. For 6 days before I get my new stem cells they give me high doses of chemo to kill anything (and everything). This should kill all the remnant spots of my lymphoma. However, it also kills my blood counts. That is why they give me good stem cells after.  So for the past 4 days I have been hooked up to a machine getting different kinds of chemo. My particular cocktail has the acronym BEAM.  Day -6 was a drug called Carmustine (BICNU). It was the easiest. It was a one time thing and lasted only a couple of hours. Then I was free to roam the unit or just hang out in my room.  Days -5, -4, -3, and -2 are for Etoposide and cytarabine. I get them every 12 hours. The Etoposide lasts for 2 hours and the cytarabine lasts for 1 hour. I do them at the same time, so it's really just 2 hours of my life twice a day. The challenge is that is it as 10. Morning 10-12 is fine, but night time 10-12 is hard to get a normal sleep. But then again, ...

 On February 15 and 16 I entered the oncology outpatient clinic at UCSF to harvest stem cells. The process was not near as bad as my mind had made it out. Isn't that typical for me? On Sunday, February 12 I gave myself shots to develop stem cells in my body. I did this by myself. I was oddly proud of my own power to do this thing my brain made so hard! I did those shots each night through the 16th.  On the afternoon of the 15th I also went to get the catheter in my neck. Again, I was so freaked out, but it was smooth. They allowed me to walk into the operating table. I got up on the bed and they did an ultrasound on my left and right side to determine the best placement. Given I already have a single port in my right chest they went to the left side. I laid on my right and they numbed me with lidocaine. Basically the same as at the dentist office. Next thing I know they are pushing and say "great, it's done". Seriously? That was it? Crazy! That night was super hard to...