White Blood Count Delayed Chemo 1.2.

 The week I was supposed to get Chemo 1.2 I got my regular blood test and they found that my white blood count was low. This delayed the chemo by a week and I had to have 3 rather painful shots. To say this was a happy moment was NOT happening. I was so angry. I had scheduled out the next 4 months and this messed up my plans. 

I am learning that I am not ok with last minute changes. I always thought of myself as a go with the flow person. But this disease is opening my eyes to a lot of my flaws. I like to be in control of my schedule. I like to be the one people can count on. I like to be able to show confidence and competence. But I feel like I am showing weakness and inability. I hate that. 

I have kept my illness from many people. Of the ones I have told I have only 2 or 3 who really know what I am feeling. I am very private and self sufficient. This disease has forced me to rethink my stance. It is very challenging to become vulnerable like this. I don't know how to do it. 

These shots are also rather painful. As it was explained to me is that you are stuffing the bone marrow with baby cells and they are already full with other cells. So you are literally feeling your bones expand. Not extremely comfortable. The parts that hurt the most for me was the sternum and hips/back of the pelvis. 



The good news is my blood test after the white blood cell boosters is that my white blood cells skyrocketed. So chemo 1.2 happened on Friday the 25th. I have heard that others have been delayed a few weeks. So that was a good delay. In the future I will be given a white blood booster after every chemo treatment so these delays will not happen again. 

So I am back on track, only need to change a few work meetings and there is a plan. I can deal with my pride another day. 

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